{"id":3284,"date":"2022-04-27T06:01:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-27T13:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/?p=3284"},"modified":"2023-03-02T15:09:09","modified_gmt":"2023-03-02T23:09:09","slug":"red-vines-vs-twizzlers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/article\/red-vines-vs-twizzlers\/","title":{"rendered":"Enough Is Enough: Stop Comparing Twizzlers and Red Vines"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

About a decade ago, a few years before I moved to the West Coast, I was in Los Angeles for a long weekend and ended up seeing a movie at a theater in Hollywood. On the hunt for something to chew to keep me awake\u2014we were seeing Prohibition drama Lawless<\/em>; snooze alert!\u2014I got to the concession stand only to discover that they didn\u2019t sell Twizzlers, my theater snack of choice. They did, however, have Red Vines. My brother-in-law bought a pack, and I gave them a shot. They were (and continue to be) \u2026 not for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\u2019m not here to beat a dead horse with a licorice whip and break down whether Twizzlers are better than Red Vines or vice versa. See, Red Vines are big in California. They\u2019re even made in California, as the package advertises. It totally makes sense for an L.A. movie theater to carry them. What doesn\u2019t make sense? Carrying them instead<\/em> of Twizzlers when the two candies are totally different<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For decades, the two snacks have been pitted against one another in some misguided East Coast-West Coast snack-food war (Twizzlers are made by Pennsylvania-based Hershey). There\u2019s even a Parks and Recreation<\/em> episode that brings Ben\u2019s self-proclaimed \u201cTwizzler family\u201d face to face with Leslie, daughter of a proud \u201cRed Vines family.\u201d For what it\u2019s worth, the brands promise they aren\u2019t perpetuating the feud. In an interview with SF Gate<\/em> in 2021<\/a>, Red Vines brand manager Clint Christensen said, \u201cThe rivalry is [similar to] the Montagues and Capulets. It’s existed for so long that people forget how it started [but] it’s not driven by either company.\u201d A man after my own heart, Christensen also noted that the \u201ctaste and the texture\u201d of the two candies are \u201cvery different.\u201d Nailed it, Red Vines corporate flack man. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, they\u2019re both red, twisty, and approximately eight inches long, but the similarities end there. Let\u2019s take a look at the specs:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shape<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Red Vines are tubular. Not, like, \u201cTotally tubular, man,\u201d but hollow with a round hole so you can use one as a straw (which people apparently do<\/a>). Twizzlers are flat on the bottom and have a barely-there tunnel running down the middle. (That said, I can say from experience that the inadequate circumference of the signature Twizzler hole hasn\u2019t kept kids from attempting to use them as straws in their movie theater sodas.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Texture<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This one\u2019s tricky since I think both treats can be accurately described as \u201cwaxy,\u201d but Red Vines are toothsome and soft, while Twizzlers have a slick, almost plasticky consistency. And god forbid you don\u2019t seal the package properly; Twizzlers go from candy to wire insulation in no time flat. Red Vines seem to have an easier time maintaining their chewy but disturbingly melty texture. Take a bite of one. Take a bite of the other. Nothing alike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Flavor<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Twizzlers are strawberry flavored. You know what strawberry flavored things<\/a> taste like. Red Vines, however, are \u201cOriginal Red\u201d flavored. It\u2019s not strawberry. Nor is it cherry like a lot of \u201cred\u201d flavored things. It\u2019s a take on red licorice that I can best describe as \u201cold piece of gum stuck underneath a middle school desk.\u201d Even if you disagree with that take, you have to agree that strawberry and Original Red are very different flavors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Different flavors. Distinct experiences. Disparate candies. Yet the feud rages on. And when movie theaters carry one over the other (props to AMC for carrying both), they\u2019re perpetuating a false equivalence that harms fans from both camps\u2014not to mention the people who truly like both. Life will be sweeter when we end this thing once and for all. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

About a decade ago, a few years before I moved to the West Coast, I was in Los Angeles for a long weekend and ended up seeing a movie at a theater in Hollywood. On the hunt for something to chew to keep me awake\u2014we were seeing Prohibition drama Lawless; snooze alert!\u2014I got to the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":17343,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,39],"tags":[],"articletype":[44],"coauthors":[385],"class_list":["post-3284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sweets","category-candy","articletype-essays"],"acf":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/RED-VINES_VS_TWIZZLERS_UPDATE.jpg","posts_featured":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3284\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3284"},{"taxonomy":"articletype","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/articletype?post=3284"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sporked.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=3284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}